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Advice on Marriage
Make your marriage last. Here's how.

Having been married for over 20 years, I've come to realize the techniques to make your marriage last. Here's how you should do it.


by Mike Ellis, the marriage counselor.

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Communication is Vital.

Don't engage in superficial conversations with your spouse. The less you talk, the better. Suppose you were to strike up a conversation occasionally, get to know her, and then decide you don't like her. What then? If you avoid all conversations, then it is also impossible to have an argument. An occasional grunt, every now and then, is all that's required.

Don't Fight over Money.

Historians say that Hitler united Germany by making the Jews the common enemy of the German people. As your marriage counselor, my fee is 10% of your income. This makes me your common enemy, thus uniting you and your spouse in a stronger relation.

Don't Nag

Never nag your spouse about keeping a clean house. If your house becomes unbearably filthy after a few years, just move.

Avoid a dull and boring life.

If thousands of people are paying to view your life on an Internet Webcam, then this proves your life is not dull, nor boring. You have it all, so be happy.

Be Kind and Loving.

If you must whack off your mate's "thingamabob" because of infidelity, do so in a kind and loving manner. Remember that the attitude in doing a task is often more important than the task itself.

Take Vacations

A vacation helps to get away from it all. But why would you want to take your spouse on the vacation? This defeats the purpose. You see him/her all the time anyway. Take separate vacations and you will be much more refreshed.

Jealousy Destroys.

You obviously had good taste in selecting your mate. Therefore when you catch your husband out to dinner with another woman, respect her good taste also. In turn your husband will respect the good taste of your male friends. Mutual respect will therefore grow.

A Marriage Should Last Till Death.

Only death should dissolve a marriage. If your spouse dies on the operating table, your marriage is dissolved, even though the doctors may revive him/her a few minutes later. This can have serious consequences on your medical insurance since it may not cover a person no longer part of the family.